#i was gonna go to fandom tour but i couldn't

[phivorce]

how many other longterm phannies got really into waterparks over the hiatus

[murfpersonalblog]

IWTV S2 Ep8 Musings - Lestat & Gender: "I am she, she is me."

Scrolling the tags and sighing, cuz I just KNEW people were gonna take this line out of context, as proof that Lestat's the woman/wife/mother/femme-fatale (which @dwreader had to explain cuz folks just don't get it X X), blahblahblah. I've already said my whole bit on Lestat as the patriarchal father/husband, and the dandified matador/killer (a la Bruce). But I just wanna remind y'all that THE SAINT IS NOT A CITY.

Either the fandom's got a bunch of new Lestans posting who missed the discourse from S1 about the meaning behind Les's monologues from the books; or y'all just have frightfully short memories.

He's NOT talking about stupid effing New Orleans; and he's NOT calling himself a woman. He's talking about LOUIS. Louis' motherland! Louis' culture! Louis' ancestor's bones! Louis' grave soil! Louis's HOME--Louis' back at home, and Louis IS his home.

But here y'all go, always centering everything on Lestat's yaasification, and ignoring the Louis-shaped elephant in the room.

Lestat's been talking about Louis to his nameless Millennial Fledgling this whole time. Everyone knows who Louis is--and what he means to Lestat. This is CRUCIAL for Loustat going forward in TVC, when Lou's held as collateral against Lest by Akasha and Rhoshamandes.

But for some reason Lestans are hella quick to separate Lestat's identity from Louis every chance y'all get, then wanna whine & complain about the QotD movie pairing Lestat with Jesse, or AR tryna pair Les with Tom, Dick & Harry.

And YES, I will die on the hill that this whole anti-feminine discourse about AMC!Louis is couched in racial prejudice and biases--a trap that even Black fans who are pro-Louis fall into, while ignoring the struggles of effeminate/feminized gay Black men in their own effing community (X X X X).

But this is BY FAR more endemic in spaces predominately occupied by straight white women, who utterly fail to relate to their direct antithesis: gay Black men (X X). So of course they'll leap on every chance they get to glom onto long-haired blonde white drama queen Lestat as their spirit animal, even when he's LITERALLY TELLING Y'ALL that he himself identifies himself with LOUIS.

(Lestat's toxic color blindness is a whole 'nother conversation, omg. X X X)

Lestat says "she" because it's conventional speech to refer to places--especially continents, countries, and cities--as female, denoting motherhood and wives--places as people that take care of their own, as a mother would her children and/or spouse; a la the Statue of Liberty, personified virtues, and most abstract concepts we've inherited from Greco-Roman gender inequality about women as home-makers (HOUSEWIVES) being barefoot & pregnant in the kitchen. It's not even an exclusively English phenomenon. NOLA, like any city, is referred to as a "she."

So yes, to an extent, Lestat is channeling LOUIS; waiting at home for his spouse to come back and TAKE CARE OF HIM again. But Lestat is NOT a home-maker. He's living in a nasty AF shack, with only his music for company (and we know his tour's all about TVL & Akasha & Marius & Claudia & Louis). He treats his own Millennial Fledgling (his BLOOD CHILD) like trash; setting him on fire "IN LOUIS' HONOR" and not even knowing his name--he's NOT tryna be no one's MOTHER. He couldn't even bring himself to be Claudia's effing FATHER when she was literally burning alive two feet away from him, FFS.

But it's not about the brick & mortar or the PLACE itself--it's about the PERSON it's attached to--cuz Lestat always knew that Louis would eventually come back to NOLA--come back HOME--and FIND LESTAT WAITING FOR HIM THERE.

EVERYTHING & ANYTHING FOR LOUIS.

But AMC leaves it deliberately open-ended and ambiguous what Louis says to Lestat during their hug, and we don't see Lestat in Dubai, or any implication that Loustat is remarried/a couple again. Louis' putting down the torch, to stop accepting everyone's effing dregs; "your tired, your poor, your huddled masses...the wretched refuse of your teeming shore." Cuz Lou's decided to finally start learning how to live on his own for the first time in his entire life; for himself, not other people--AND realize that he doesn't need to rely on his husbands to fight his battles for him. "I own the night!"

[taleofharrison]

AN: I wrote this ages ago and I randomly decided to expand on it lol and here we go.

Steve is a model, he moved to LA with Eddie the moment Eddie got his record deal. It was probably the easiest decision he had ever made, his parents still travelled a lot and his best friends had left Hawkins for college and other projects so he didn't anything left in Hawkins.

They lived in the cheapest apartment they could find near the record label's office, Steve got a full time job while Eddie had a part time job since he had to be free to record demos, talk to execs and essentially work towards releasing an album.

Eventually when the money became more steady and Corroded Coffin started making noise in the scene Steve got a part time job and started joining the guys on the studio and photoshoots. That's how he got discovered by a photographer who thought he'd look good in an upcoming fashion campaign and from that moment on Steve's career as a model just sky rocketed to the point he was considering acting too.

Steve became familiar to the fandom often being there and even could be found in music videos, he was as loved as the rest of the band was and Eddie couldn't have been prouder, that's why the decision made by their label of keeping his relationship private was devasting, hard and upsetting.

After the kiss at the sold out show, the press was crazy and fans connected all the dots. It made sense now why Eddie rejected all the groupies while it seemed like the rest of the group left the concerts with a different person every time.

Headlines were a mess. "EDDIE MUNSON OFF THE MARKET" "EDDIE MUNSON'S NEW FLING. DISCOVER WHO HE IS" "EDDIE MUNSON'S FIRST PUBLIC RELATIONSHIP: WILL THIS LAST?"

To the managers and PR team this was a mess and a crisis of sorts. The sex, drugs and rock&roll life they wanted to sell was broken. Eddie didn't give a shit though. He didn't pay attention nor care to listen to whatever the label had to say, it was his life and his career at the end of the day.

"You two" Greg, the manager spoke over the phone "have to give an interview together, make it seem like you got together during the tour"

The reporters from People magazine arrived to the their shared house in Beverly Hills. Contrary to popular belief, it wasn't a mansion. After growing in the biggest and emptiest house of Hawkins the last thing Steve wanted was a huge house and Eddie just wanted Steve to be happy. Their house had 3 bedrooms, enough to have Wayne or friends over a few days and an extra room for when they were ready for kids, it was perfect.

"How long have you been together?" The reporter asked once they sat in the living room.

"Straight to the point, I see" Eddie chuckled "since high school pretty much"

"Eddie!" Steve exclaimed. He had off script but it only took one look from Eddie to follow along "well he's a year older than me and I had already graduated when we got together"

"Well I was about to start my third try on my senior year, so to me we have been dating since high school" Eddie explained further "we got together summer of 85 while he was selling ice creams in the cutest sailor outfit"

"You said you wouldn't bring that up!" Steve groaned.

"I can't help it. That really caught my eye back then" Eddie "I have photos of that, do you want to see them?"

The reporter was caught off guard when Eddie suddenly addressed him, it didn't take much to notice that if they were together, they acted as if no one else was around them.

"Uh no, it's fine" he stammered "that's not the point of the article anyways"

"Thank you" Steve spoke again "so what else do you want to know?"

After the interview and the reporter left Eddie and Steve fixed themselves some snacks and wine.

"You went off script" Steve told him "your label is gonna flip"

"Yeah, well" Eddie said after taking a sip of wine "all I care about is finally getting to kiss you whenever and wherever I want"

Eddie leaned in for a kiss which Steve gladly accepted, he was so glad Eddie went off script.

"And just in time for the Grammy's" Eddie suddenly remembered "you'll be my plus one and we'll walk the red carpet together"

[harrysflannels]

i remember coming across wmyb on youtube during christmas break in 2011 at 13 right before they blew up in the US, begging my parents to let me go see them open for big time rush in 2012, finally seeing them on tmh tour in 2013. i lived and breathed one direction, like many of us did. i would get made fun of in school for being obsessed with them and did not care. they were there when i hated everything about myself, when i hated my life, and i refused to let a couple classmates from school take that away from me. my mom made me 1D t-shirts and pillowcases. i had 1D bracelets, cups, headphones, guitar picks. their posters plastered on my wall. i would spend hours writing fanfics, imagines, and prefs about these boys, designing outfits on polyvore for outings with each guy.

unfortunately, i fell out of my one direction obsession on a notable day, the day zayn left. to me, it couldn't be 1D without all five of them. i knew they weren't gonna last much longer as a band, so i cut my losses as quick as i could. i didn't even attempt to listen to made in the am. to this day i only know the songs that got radio play from the album.

i wish i would've held on a little longer, because this truly feels like the end of an age. liam's death has cemented the end of childhood for me, and i don't know how i feel about that. i've been watching videos i took from the concert and ones i made in my bedroom with all of my one direction posters in the background. i wish i could go back to this time, with no worries except homework and when the next chapter of a fanfic i was reading would be uploaded to wattpad.

sending so much love to liam's family and friends, the other boys, and of course my fellow fans. i never really made any online friends in the fandom, but i love you guys like family. <3

[leopardom]

because it’s gonna be 12 months from the start of this fandom (kinda mostly here anyway), would you like to give me a fav moment from every month so far (can be fandom related, can be only jo related)? if that’s something you’re in the mood rn 🩷

absolutely 🤩

welcome to the ✨Joker Out Chronicles (May 2023 - March 2024)✨ as viewed by user leopardom

this is gonna be a list of fav moments from every month so far and since i couldn't choose, it's gonna be both band related and fandom related

this is gonna be long so more under the cut

May 2023

band: the whole eurovision journey from befriending all the contestants to Bojan's date and eventual engagement with Käärijä to the band giving condoms to everyone and their mom to the rehearsals to the iconic turqoise carpet to the Käärijä sauna to the voting promo to the qualification to the finals to Bojan licking the camera and to Joker Out becoming pretty much esc legends despite finishing 21st in the final. the beginning of everything, absolutely chaotic but i wouldn't imagine it any other way

fandom: the formation this sounds cliche yes but i was here since April 2023 and it was... very silent. the non-esc related jo stuff were limited and people were still discovering them so yeah i was sitting here hoping that after esc people would stick around so we can scream together about the band as a band and not only as esc contestants. and thankfully people did that and here we are now 🥹

June 2023

band: first international gigs the gigs in Dublin are one thing but then came the announcements of the Nordic tour, the Warsaw gigs, the headline gigs in Novi Sad and Zagreb... honourable mention to Stožice going sold out

fandom: Tavastia 1.0 there's absolutely no way i will even forget how the jo, ka and esc fandoms had a collective meltdown when Bojan casually showed up in Helsinki and then joined Käärijä on stage on both his Tavastia gigs (mind you both as a singer and as a dancer lmao). no wonder why this moment still has a chokehold on all of us. 9th of June 2023, you will always be famous

July 2023

band: the appearance of Demoni scream i know that festivals and the first UK run were important and gave us some iconic moments too (like some slay outfits and Jan's sparklative confusion), but the damn Demoni scream is so dear to me it kinda tops it all. it's so good to see how Bojan embraced it after that first time (2/7/23 in Škofja Loka) and now there can't be Demoni without the scream/growl/whatever you wanna call it

fandom: the Jance wedding on stage iirc the Jance brainrot had started spawning before 29/7 but that Saturday night was the cherry on top. so glad we got to experience this live as well since there was a livestream going on that night and we saw Jan putting the veil on Nace himself <3

August 2023

band: the Koper gig i wasn't even there okay but judging from the content and people's comments on it, it was probably one of the most iconic jo gigs. also my favourite jo video in existence is coming from that night (here) side note: i've been to Slovenia once in my life, 11 years ago, and funnily enough we were staying in Koper and i recognised the place they had the concert. anyway, visit Slovenia and Koper, it's a very nice small seaside town and it's worth the visit <3

fandom: the collective screaming about things to be completely honest i don't remember much from that month in terms of fandom, but i kinda remember how most of us had started diving into the band's past more and more and “new” old content was posted almost every day. videos, photos, gifs, interviews, the amazing @jokeroutsubs translating more old content...

September 2023

band: Nordic tour i won't even start talking about this because you'll never hear the end of it. we all know what the Nordic tour was. even the release of SSOL, the first single after esc, can't top this whole thing, sorry

fandom: google drive content and *shocked gasp* Nordic tour another collective meltdown for the fandom. first being bombarder with backstage videos on a damn google drive folder (that ended up being a frequent occurence in the following months) to the whole run of the Nordic tour. do i need to say more? i feel like i can't. only this: Nordic tour, you will always be famous

October 2023

band: Stožice not much to say here either. they sold out a whole arena months prior to the actual concert date. it was their moment. a milestone (probably their biggest to date). and it was amazing to witness this in any possible way, whether it was by attending the concert or watching an ig livestream or keeping track of the photos and videos of that night

fandom: Stožice and Halloween outfits the chokehold both the Stožice and the Halloween (aka pilots and flight attendands) outfits had on the whole fandom... also love how we collectively agreed that Kris' Stožice outfit was his version of Princess Diana's revenge dress and how the Halloween outfits sent the fandom into a spiral in means of creations (fanart, fanfics etc)

November 2023

band: the whole touring well they did have a number of gigs during November and they seemed to be having so much fun 🥰 so much that at the end of November they announced their first proper european tour

fandom: collective screaming about things once again i mean all the gigs were feeding us well. the outfits alternating or not, Jance/Bokris moments, Bonace getting more spotlight (Bojan was and still is going through something during Demoni and Ona like wtf was he doing to Nace was it the serbian lyrics waking up something wild in him 😭😭😭). there was a lot going on back in November… honourable mentions: this Bokris moment, cvjetits (x x) and Kris riding Jure

December 2023

band: the whole Munich experience there's a good chance jo don't remember their whole stay in Munich for the first time as one of the best ones ever, especially if they think about the 1,5k euro taxi they paid as part of making it to The Hague in time for the next gig. but if anything, i feel like this captures their whole vibe as a band; ✨purely chaotic✨

fandom: european tour vlog and Bojan with the bi flag we waited for a long time for a Nordic tour vlog. maybe we didn't get it as an individual video but even as part of the whole tour vlog it was great and definitely worth the wait. also it was a great xmas gift let's be real 😌 now Bojan with the bi flag was probably not a very huge fandom moment and my bi ass may be biased here (this rhymed lol), but seeing him wrap himself with the bi flag followed by that speech before Barve Oceana in Barcelona will always be such a precious moment to me and i'll cherish it forever 💖 note: when i saw them last month in Munich i immediately started crying when i heard the first notes of Barve Oceana live; not only because i love the song and i finally heard it live, but also because i instantly thought of that moment of Bojan with the bi flag and the speech)

January 2024

band: Joker Out cooking livestreams London era my beloved (i never thought i'd say this about a city in the UK out of all places). their whole stay in London was an Experience both for the band and the fandom but well they got their chance to show the world they can cook besides playing music and they did. now let's not get into the kind of cooking they did, but the livestreams were very entertaining and bless them for doing them 😅

fandom: death by Damon Baker's photos yeah no i don't think i need to say more here, i'm still not over those photoshoots and i still can't quite believe they actually happened. like?????????? jo???? photographed individually or not by Damon fucking Baker???? ugh 😫 on that note i want to add that i loved and still love how those photos sparked the creativity in this fandom. from analyses of each photo to fanfics to fanart to creating anything in general. one of my favourite moments of the fandom <3

February 2024

band: release of Everybody's Waiting the whole road to the release of this single was Something with the band continuing the usual shenanigans and with Damon still releasing unseen photos of them. the release of it may have gotten us divided because of its language or the path they chose to take music-wise (it's not everyone's cup of tea and that's more than fine), but personally i like this for them. it's different, it showed a different side of them which they wanted to explored; they got a chances to do it and they did it. and you know what? it's so good live

fandom: death by Damon Baker's photos, Jure edition this could be merged with my fave fandom moment of January 2024 but this one is special because we just saw another Jure like WTF WAS THAT 😭 anyway i loved how we all kind of lost it when his photos dropped note: the moment Damon posted Jure's photos i was on my way to meet my friends in Dresden of all places and i was so shocked by what i saw i almost ran into a lighting column on the street 💀💀💀

March 2024

band: Jan and Bojan playing the piano at every gig of the tour i could've said the whole tour is my favourite thing from this March and it's not like it's not, this is a big moment for the band. it's just that once again i'm a bit biased here. many people, my pianist ass included, wished there would be a piano or some keyboard on stage during the tour because come on if Jan plays the keys for Everybody's Waiting studio version then why not do it live too? and you know what's better? not only there was a piano on stage for the whole tour, but not only Jan but also Bojan played it. however, Bojan playing it for Everybody's Waiting and Jan playing it for Padam, Metulji and the cases where they had special guests (like in Estonia with Alika, Lithuania with Monika and Belgium with Gustaph)... those were not on my bingo card and they were the most pleasant surprise ever 😌

fandom: meeting each other at the gigs when the tour started and even though i knew i would go to at least two gigs, i was extremely nervous because this meant i'd probably come across other fans from here and social media in general. as a person with anxiety, one of my worries was how i'd be perceived and how i'd manage to not come across as a snob person because i'm shy and scared to talk to people i don't know. as the tour went on and i saw people meeting each other irl after only knowing each other via tumblr/twitter/instagram, i got more nervous but also had a warm feeling in my chest because seeing people meet, bond over things they like and have fun at gigs together is actually very wholesome 🫶 i hoped i would get to experience this too at the italian gigs but i was still nervous. and then, around the middle of March, i made the spontaneous decision to do the Munich gig too, but instead of getting even more nervous i just got myself on autopilot. and i'm glad i did because if i hadn't i wouldn't have met some of you neither in Munich nor in Milan or Padua. i wouldn't get to trade stuff and joke about things and talk about fandom stuff or even about fanfics lmao 😂 anyway, point is that i most probably was worried about nothing. i got to meet so many people at the gigs and i had so much fun despite the inconveniences that may had showed up in the way (i don't wanna talk about it tbh) and everyone was so welcome and lovely i'll never shut up about it 😭 also i’m taking this opportunity to say that if we attended the same gigs but didn't get to meet, i'm so sorry about it really but we will do it at some point i'm telling you! and i also wish i get to meet more of you from in here so we can yap about things outside of tumblr too. btw i still have stickers to give away and i will make more whenever the time comes again <3

[joesalw]

Ok I'm sorry but this is gonna be a long rant.

I am an ex swiftie (also a minor) and I joined the fandom back in 2022 after midnights released. Before that I had heard a few songs but I barely knew anything about Taylor before 2020 and I did not know about the Kimye stuff or anything.

When the bejeweled music video was released I did not realize the easter eggs so thus I thought that I need to become parasocial and I NEED to know everything that taylor has done every minute of the day (referencing Do you really wanna know where I was April 29?)

I went deeper into the hole. I started getting obsessed with Taylor. I clicked on every video , post and podcast mentioning her. I genuinely became a parasocial fan. I only heard her songs and barely cared about other artists. I hated on her exes (Jake Gyllenhaal and John Mayer especially) because I believed that they had hurt Taylor to no extent. I still don't like them/am neutral but I don't hate them anymore. In march I joined tumblr because I heard Taylor was on here and I have no other social media to support her from so I came here to give her my support.

In April , the breakup happened. I was genuinely devastated. Joe was and is an amazing person. I was shocked to see her move on so quickly and date m*tty he*ly . I was even as a child shocked as to how someone can move on so fast. But also move on to someone so problematic after calling herself an activist? Idk what was wrong with her. But IG as long as she is happy.

She broke up with him. We all rejoiced. Speak now TV was also announced! Yay!

I remember so well on 7th July I was in school and I was so fucking excited about it coming so soon I couldn't sit still. I was counting down minutes until it's release even tho I did not have any devices to listen to it on. My friends were so happy to see me happy and excited af.

I went home and heard speak now tv. Amazing experience for me at that time.

I became the person who said shit like : I hate everyone but Taylor and Taylor is a gift to this Earth and etc etc.

But the amount of joe hate and joeover and joebless jokes annoyed me. Why were we hating a person who was in her life at her worst moments? Taylor would never condone or allow this.

But boy was I wrong.

Most of the hate against joe was my #Strike 1 for leaving the fandom.

Then came along Traylor. I was like oh ok as long as she is happy :))

Then she started associating with the nfl people. Br*ttany M*homes and Abuser bitch.

When I heard of this I was like wtf Taylor???

Weren't you the one who was going off about being on the right side of the history and believing victims?

I was like it's fine maybe she doesn't know or maybe she will stop once she knows.

She didn't

Then she won person of the year. I was already very unhappy with Taylor at that time. But I still was like Yay! Congrats! But maybe you shouldn't be the one to win it?

Then the doxxing by a swiftie happened. It was #strike 3

I left the fandom. I still had hope she would change.

Now after seeing her jets emissions (I'm a huge Environmentalist and a feminist so this shit bothered the living helm out of me) and her continuously hanging out with brittany piece of shit and all the joe hate going on, I am beginning to despise her.

I had initally blocked hate pages like yours but Now I open your posts everyday and check them because I relate to them sm.

I went from a person defending every action of Taylor's, being the only one in my entire theatre who knew the lyrics to all the songs of the eras tour movie , having Taylor as my top artist of the year with more than 60 percent of the songs being hers to despising her so much for being fake and stuck up.

I remember after I left the fandom and not many people knew about it , A classmate said something against Taylor and her songs directly to me daring me to oppose it and I genuinely wanted to cry because I thought that I would now always be associated with this fandom.

The ex swiftie in me genuinely wants 2016 to happen again so Taylor will be removed from the pedestal she is put on by so many. She needs to be saved from herself and her parasocial fans.

And I used to say I would love Taylor forever but I suppose forever really is the sweetest con.

TLDR :- I USED TO BE A PARASOCIAL SWIFTIE WHO USED TO LIVE AND BREATHE TAYLOR BUT NOW I'M SLOWLY STARTING TO DESPISE HER.

Sorry this was so long I had to get it off my chest.

Thanks for reading it!

ex swifties are my favourite people in this planet rn

[kingkatsuki]

♬ I couldn't wait for the summer and the Warped Tour. I remember it's the first time that I saw her there ♬

Festival season is finally here. One of the best times to sit back and relax with your friends with the soundtrack to your summer, or to meticulously plan every single artist of the day to avoid maximum clashes.

I’m going to my first festival of the year at the end of the month, so to get me in the mood I’m going to be doing festival based match-ups. 

So— are you ready for a summer romance?

This is gonna be a little bit similar to the last music festival event I did, except it’s gonna focus more on match-ups! I’ll match you with a character and tell you how or where you meet. It may even turn into a drabble. 

If you’d like to participate send me:

☀️ Which fandom you’d like your matchup to be from: BNHA or Blue Lock?  ☀️ Whether you’d like a male or female matchup. ☀️ A band/artist you’re excited to see. ☀️ What kind of festival is it? (Is it a day festival, weekend camping, indoors or maybe its just a back yard hangout with some friends and an unsigned indie band!) ☀️ Your biggest festival ick? (Are the bar queues too long? The food too expensive or the layouts confusing?) ☀️  What are you wearing?! You can send me a picture or describe it.

Asks won’t be posted, so don’t be shy/worried about anything you say! I promise, you’re not as cringe and awkward as me!

On this occasion I won’t be accepting asks from anonymous users unless you’re one of my emoji anons!💕

You can look at my Toxic Matchups tag if you want an idea of the kinda thing these will be, although I never have a set format so they’ll probably be all over the place.

[random-writer-person]

I Wanna Be Yours

Remus Lupin x Reader Smut

this was a request from Annabella-darklight on my wattpad

they wanted the same as my last one shot but rough. it's got some changes but essentially the same plot i hope you like it.

word count: 2178

Warnings: Rough smut, penetration, tying fem reader up, oral (fem receiving)

————————————

Recently your band has been increasing in popularity. Now you're not very overwhelmed because you know what to expect.

how you may ask? Well, you are currently dating a member of one of the most popular bands in the world. who? only Remus Lupin of the Marauders. you weren't public because you were more scared than Remus. also, you are very stubborn that the popularity of your band is based on your band's music only.

your band mates Lily, Marlene, and Dorcas have been catching onto your strange behaviour recently and have been asking questions. you wanted to tell them badly but you had an idea.

you showed them your new song and they loved it. you're so glad they loved it. This is the most meaningful song you have ever written in your life. not so much the lyrics or anything but what you're planning to do with the song.

you already cleared things with Remus he was going to be there for the first show of your tour. he had no idea what was coming which was great. so you set your plan in motion. you and your band spent forever practicing making sure everything was perfect.

The night of the show everything was going great. Remus was right in front of the stage people recognizing him immediately and him being polite but blowing them off to watch you. you had your eyes on him pretty much all night and his eyes were on you. your plan would be set into motion for the last song of the night.

"Hey everybody, how are you tonight?" you ask and the whole crowd screams. "Lovely. I hope you guys enjoyed our set this is our last song of the night it's never been heard by anyone but the band so I hope you enjoy it." they scream again. "it's called I wanna be Yours" With that the girls start playing their instruments and you start swaying to the music dancing a little. When you look down you see Remus raise an eyebrow, you smirk and start singing.

"I wanna be your vacuum cleaner, breathing in your dust. wanna be your Ford Cortina I will never rust." you continue staring at him. It was a well-known fact in the fandom that Remus likes older things, one of those things was his car. a Ford Cortina. while you continue singing he knows it was about him and he's smiling hard getting the meanings behind all the words.

when you get to the line "at least as deep as the Pacific Ocean, now I wanna be yours." you drop to your knees and crawl towards Remus continuing to sing. When you sing "Maybe I just wanna be yours, I wanna be yours" you hold his chin between your fingers and slide your thumb against his lip. he bit his lip and you smile turning around standing up and continuing to sing.

Now your plan was set into motion. you planted the bait you won't see Remus until tomorrow after your publicity interview and you were counting on them asking about what happened.

when you got back to your hotel room everyone was blasting your messages, Remus, Sirius, and James. Sirius and James didn't know but you were friends due to your connection through music. you ignored them all but you couldn't ignore your bandmates who stormed into your room.

"y/n what the hell was that!?" Lily asks throwing herself onto your bed.

"uh..." you were about to answer then Marlene butted in.

"Are you and him like a thing? you know what the interviewer tomorrow is gonna do babes." she was worried but you were counting on them doing that.

"honestly guys it's fine I have it under control can you just wait until tomorrow it will all be cleared up? trust me" You smile at them and they smile back.

"fine but if this fucks with our tour im going to kill you," Dorcas said with a playful glare.

"if anything it'll get us more ticket sales," Marlene smirks heading out of my room with the other two. you roll your eyes and jump into bed going to sleep for the night.

the next morning you work up right on time ready to get pampered for the interview. your publicist came and was lecturing the band on what to say and how to avoid saying things. She turns to you.

"what are we doing about this Remus situation" she smirks a little. Alice was the best. even though she's our publicist she's also our best friend and she has our best interest at heart. you knew she was happy for you.

"I've got it under control don't worry I know what to do." she nods and goes back to the other.

in no time you guys were sitting on the comfortable couches ready to talk to Drew Berrymore.

"so I don't mean to start the interview off with gossip but everyone wants to know. what is going on between you and Remus y/n?" she tilts her head smiling kindly at you. She was your favourite interviewer.

"oh lord" I chuckle nervously hiding my face in my hands. " alright, alright, okay we're dating. we have been for a while almost a year now. That whole show of things was to announce it. though he had no idea." you smile a little mischievously.

"Will he be mad about you announcing it without him knowing?" she looks concerned.

"Remus? no. he couldn't care less if people knew or not. on one hand, he likes to keep things private but on the other, he's also very possessive so he wants everyone to know I'm his. so he kinda put that job on my shoulders. I just wanted to have some fun with it." we all laughed and drew turns to the girls.

"did you girls know about this?" they all shook their heads hard.

"no she was acting a little strange so we were suspicious but we never guessed this. a pleasant surprise." Lily smiles big. she's always loved Remus.

"don't be sad guys no one knew. not even James and Siri. just our families." you pat Marlene who looked in shock on the shoulder.

"you called sirius siri does that mean you all are friends with the marauders?" she asks curiously.

"oh very much yeah we met through our publicist, whose husband is the marauder's publicist, that's how I met Remus. I guess I owe all my thanks to Frank and Alice Longbottom." you smile big at the camera and make a heart with your fingers. Alice behind the camera does the same.

after all of that, the interview went back to your music and ended soon after. when you walk out of the interview you grab your phone and see messages from Remus.

My moony❤️

What was that at the concert?

I mean it was really hot but what?

that was last night when I was ignoring him for the rest of the news to come out.

My moony❤️

Oh god, I love you.

turn around.

I looked at that message in confusion seeing it just came in and turn around. you see Remus standing there with a single daisy and a smile.

"hello love" he picks you up into his arms hugging you and spinning you around.

"Remmy what are you doing here?" you hold his cheeks pecking his lips.

"I wanted to surprise you for a change. I see what your whole plan was now." he chuckles into your neck still hugging you.

"was it a bad plan?" you get nervous you did something he didn't want.

"no love it was amazing." he leaned down to your ear. "I'll be thinking about that concert for many nights to come."

"Oh," I raise my eyebrow in teasing curiosity.

"oh I can't do it anymore come we're going home." he grabbed your wrist and led you to his car. handy dandy old Ford Cortina. he put you in the passenger seat and buckled you in before hopping into his side. he sped out of the parking lot and to his house.

"someone's eager." I tease. he makes a growling sound. When we make it home he quickly gets out and makes it to my side of the car. Once I'm out he picks me up and brings me inside.

he rushes up to his bedroom and throws me on the bed. I gasp a light moan and look up at him. He looks back at me, eyes dark with arousal.

"take your clothes off" he demands in a gravelly voice. immediately I started stripping in front of him. he started palming his pants and tilted his head. "spread your legs" he demanded again. As you slid your legs open he crawled in between your legs. slowly he licks a strip between your folds and you gasp grabbing his hair.

"oh remmy" he puts his arm around your hips to keep you in place then starts to lick faster. your climax approaching quicker and quicker. suddenly he adds two fingers into you curling them inside you. you arch your back and moan. he continues flicking and sucking your clit with his tongue and thrusting his fingers in and out of you. quickly the feeling grew more and more.

"remmy oh oh I'm gonna cum" You pull his hair trying to get his head closer to your heat chasing your release.

"cum for me love" he growls into your heat. you moan loud as your vision cuts out only seeing white as you cum.

he slowly works you through your climax till you've calmed down a bit. he slides up your body till he's face to face with you your bodies pushed together. he slowly tugs on his tie. you think he's about to get undressed but suddenly he grabs your hand and before you can resist you're tied to the headboard. he gets off the bed slowly stripping while you wiggle trying to get friction where you most need it.

"Please Remmy hurry I need you" you moan throwing your head back in frustration.

"Patience my love I'll give you what you need," he said crawling over you again you feel his hard length brush against your heat. you let out a moan and try to grind against it. he moves away. "not so fast" he kisses you deep and passionately. he rubs his hands along your body while you continue to buck up into him. after a while, he slowly strokes his cock before sliding it between your folds. you never get used to how big he is letting out a loud moan.

"ah yes remmy you're so big" You buck your hips trying to get him to move fast but he pushes your hips into the bed before he starts aggressively bucking into you. you're moaning loud and tears start slipping out of your eyes.

"you like that hm? finally shut up once you get what you want?" he teases when you don't answer he quickly unties your hands and flips you over onto all fours. "when I ask you a question you answer" he slaps your ass. you let out a moan and nod.

"yes I love it I love your big dick yes" he sticks it back in happy with your answer and immediately sets a punishing pace. you brace your hand against the headboard trying to prevent your head from smashing into it as Remus leans down your bodies fully connected groaning into your ear.

"I love your warm tight pussy so good for me love." you moan in response he holds you up with his arms as you reach an arm back and play with his hair.

"oh godic I'm so close remmy please." you try to match his thrusts but he holds you too hard.

"wait till I'm ready we'll come together." he starts going harder reaching an arm down you play with your clit bringing you closer. you clench your teeth trying to hold back.

"Remmy I can't I need to cum" You grab his hair harder. Remus groans into your ear.

"Now love cum now" You feel the strings of his cum shooting into you and you let out a loud moan as the earth-shattering orgasm ripped through you. you fall to the bed as Remus slowly works you through your high. slowly Remus plops down next to you looking into your eyes.

"the whole world knows I'm yours now." you smile at him he smiles back and kisses you.

"quiet now or you'll get me worked up all over again." he goes to get up but you grab his hand. "I'll be back love I'm just grabbing a cloth to clean you up." you let go and he goes to the washroom quickly cleaning you up before cuddling with you in bed. it doesn't take you long before you start fading out of consciousness but before you do you hear Remus whisper to you

"I wanna be yours too."

---------------------------------------------------------

hope you guys enjoyed

XOXO

Good day night whatever

[elvisabutler]

i've had no love like your love

summary: both you and professor presley would like to forget about the incident between you two and you do while still occasionally falling into each other's arms when spending time with one another. the two of you finally reach a breaking point. fandom: elvis presley | elvis ( 2022 ) rating: m pairing: professor! elvis presley ( big daddy flavor ) x student! female reader word count: 9487. i got a little carried away. warnings: big daddy elvis. elvis using a walking stick/cane. implied praise kink. student and professor relationship ( everyone are of legal age ). religious talk. elvis being ill enough to miss class. unrequited love that would be requited if people just opened up their mouths. oral ( f receiving ). use of psalms in inappropriate ways. bunch of tears. mention of physical abuse/hitting/being kicked out of houses. use of the nickname belle for the reader. use of the derogatory name jezebel. mentions and beginning of impersonal sex like in my hearts already sinned. thigh riding. author's note: so i'll warn you ahead of time you've got to get through a lot of words of sadness to get to their happiness in this but it's worth it. i'm honestly super glad this got the reception it did since when i posted the little teaser/trailer as my last kinktober piece i thought this was hella niche and didn't think anyone would like it since it's big daddy elvis and it's a professor au. but y'all have seemed to absolutely adore it and it makes me happy. this is not the end of them since i've got an epilogue ( purely happy, i promise ) and honestly, if anyone ever wants me to write more of them ( case in point, the ask i got about a movie night with him and belle ) or i have an urge to i probably will. and y'all know the drill, pick your elvis poison, this is written with real elvis in mind but you can imagine austin elvis. and previous parts are here to be read in order: 1 and 2.

There's one thought- or a series of thoughts- his mind keeps cycling back to, that keeps rolling over and over in his head as he looks at the door you just left out of. Gossip isn't something he normally cares about but when he heard your name, he couldn't help but listen in properly because when it came to you he couldn't help it, he never has been able to help it. 

"She's going for Presley? That religious- he won't give her the time of day like that. She's too impure for him."  

"I've heard that's why she wants him because come on man, you know he never has gone for a student. Why not have the Tour Guide show him what he's been missing? Besides she's already spending all that time in his office and wearing his jacket half the time. Bet she's gonna fuck him before Thanksgiving break. Then she'll be free."  

"Two in one semester-" The calculus professor whistles. "Next semester she'll be begging for an orgy at this rate." 

He's not dumb, contrary to what his teachers back in the day might have thought. No, he's not dumb but sometimes he prefers to see the best in people, sees the parts that other people might overlook. Maybe it's just from his upbringing or maybe it's from how he was treated in the music industry but he likes to think himself a good judge of the character people might otherwise keep hidden. And with you he had thought- he had thought there was something there. Something you had hidden away amongst your conquests as ill advised as they might have been. You were- you felt like the sort of person who could be taken care of while still taking care of him. You felt like coming home or like God himself had dropped an angel in his lap. The idea that he was just another man- another professor in your long line of them stung. He knows he's not a great catch any more, that he's not nearly as pretty as he was even two years ago, let alone when he used to perform on stage or was in the movie picture business but you didn't seem to mind. You seemed to enjoy him, unless he had read everything wrong, had read your lingering glances wrong. Unless he had read your reactions to his very presence wrong or how you would smile just so in a way he recognizes from some women.

If he hadn't have read this situation wrong and you had actually enjoyed his company and cared about him at least in some small part the way he cared about you, why had you answered yes to his test. Why in God's green Earth had you told him that you just wanted him to be another professor you fucked? The answer should have been that you wanted to fuck him as a person and not just- him because he was your professor. You didn't need to charm him like this- to worm your way so comfortably into his heart in a way Priscilla had and how Linda had as short as their relationship was. It's- you didn't need to play with him like this- you didn't need to be cruel.

Maybe the best thing for both of you would be to pretend none of this happened. Pretend that everything was normal and that he hadn't seen how your pussy looked in underwear that was barely there. Pretend he hadn't seen you arch your back for him. Just pretend he hadn't had you against the desk in a way that was so far from how he planned. That's- that should be what he does. You were still perhaps that good girl, that wonderful woman he thought you were, you just needed to be reminded of it continuously. Maybe he just wants to be selfish and have you in his life in whatever way he can. God, he was getting to be stupid and silly as he got older, wasn't he?

Love makes you do stupid things, you've realized this more than anything with El- Professor Presley. With other men, with other professors your brain and your heart seemed to actually be in line with one another, seemed to remember that these were flings and while their outcomes led so much to be desired you could file them away as business transactions. Business transactions that allowed you to avoid worrying about your grades if you were sick or if you had too much going on at one time. You figure it's your own fault for taking the challenge Noelle had offered you. Figure that you brought this on yourself despite knowing that you had seen the man for years now from afar and thought that he was the most attractive man you've ever laid eyes on. Thought his waistline- much as it occasionally fluctuated was perfect at damn near any size but you had a special place in your heart for his size now. You should have known your heart would believe one thing- would feel one thing while your brain would try and remind you that this- this couldn't ever be more than whatever it was. You hadn't even needed to do it, hadn't needed to take the chance on sleeping with him because you were fine when it came to his class, never missing a class or a discussion or anything that had him lowering your grades. Yet, you had to be selfish, had to ruin the relationship- the friendship you and him had with each other. You had to ruin him as a person, didn't you?

The man who had sex with you against his desk that day wasn't Elvis Presley, Professor Presley, whatever you wanted to call him. He wasn't the person you had fallen so deeply in love with that your heart ached and twisted and threatened to fall right out of your chest at the mere idea of losing him for good. He was something- someone else entirely, someone who you didn't recognize in the slightest but maybe that's who he always had been, maybe that was the man you had fallen completely in love with over the semester. Your brain hadn't bothered to entertain the idea of a life beyond this semester but you think- no, you know- that your heart had other plans. Your heart dreamed of a life with you at his side at Graceland during the summer and on the breaks at night. It dreamed of a life with you in his lap and his head in yours. You just dreamed of a life with him come whatever may be.

That dream is still in your heart as much as your brain knows it's stupid and silly and a forgone conclusion at this point. Yet, you can't stop yourself from still wanting it from pining for the mere idea of it. You can't stop yourself from taking his jacket you still have and wrapping yourself in it after you come home from that day- that absolute mess of an emotional day because that mere idea of a life with him. A life where he comforts you and wraps his arms around you when you find that life is too much or when he finds that life is too much.

Maybe that's why you don't back away, maybe that's why you let yourself continue on debasing yourself in a way that you're practically mortified to realize. Or maybe it's because after that day things go back to normal. He acts like the man you fell for, acts like the man you could see some form of a future with and could dream of living the rest of his days with. Still, you choose to believe that it's worth it, that this is all you're ever going to have of Elvis. God you wish your brain could just call him Professor Presley or Mr. Presley but when you're in his office talking about what had happened in class or the lesson plans he had for the next one he always insists on you calling him Elvis and it feels so natural rolling off your tongue. It feels like it's meant to leave your mouth in sighs as he brings you pleasure and with fondness that you can only have with someone you love to the ends of the Earth.

You should have known better, you should have known better because you might be strong, you might be the sort of person who can hold herself up with or without praise that Elvis sprinkles into your life. You're the sort of person who shouldn't do this, who wouldn't do this for anyone else if it wasn't him. You should break it off, should give yourself a clean break but he's always there and he's right there saying the words you want to hear. He's there acting like he's supposed to and you find you can't even grieve for the loss of him because he's not gone, is he? No, he's right there in front of you, almost mocking you in his actions and how they conflict when you're up against his desk, his cock sliding in and out of you with such obscene squelching and squishing because he knows how to touch you in just the right way that has you groaning against the coolness of the desk. He knows how to touch you in just the right way that has you so aroused you make a mess of whatever you touch. The times you're just on his thigh because he can't get it up- not for lack of want, but because of his body betraying him like everything else seems to- those times always end in him with a suspicious wet spot that makes him glad he's got on black pants to hide the stain you've put there from riding him.

Things feel so impersonal, such a stark contrast to the actions of both of you around the times you do these things. You're adults and yet the concept of talking about what happens- talking about how you two fall into some natural rhythm of companionship only to have it stripped away the moment one of you climbs on top of the other or the moment he pats his thigh for you to straddle- is so alien to either one of you. When you've fooled around with the other professors even when it came to the worst exits you were still able to look at them, still have that element of attachment when you would be with them up until the point where you were kicked out and where you were slapped and yelled at and chased out windows that had you breaking your ankle. With Elvis it should be the same, you want it to be the same because maybe if it was you could- it would be easier for the two of you to talk. It would be easier to not feel like this is a business transaction and that as much as he'll be the man you started to love before and after it, he won't be that man during the act. You'd say you felt used but how can you be used if you're also using him. It's silly and embarrassing and it wears you down after each time even though you always crave it just a little bit because it's all you feel like you can get of him like that. You want more than his companionship, his praise and his subtle touches on your shoulder and his laughter. You want every single bit of him you can have. You're grasping at whatever you feel you can get and you don't realize he's doing much the same thing.

It has to be impersonal because if he looks at you he doesn't trust himself to not fall to your knees and worship you like the angel sent from on high he believes you to be. He calls you Jezebel because that reminds him how you wrenched his heart from his chest and twisted it in your hands. Staying away from you isn't an option because outside of when you two fall into each other's arms you feel like his- feel like third time is truly the charm on women he adores to the ends of the Earth and that you could be the one he spends the rest of his life with- however long that may be.

However long that may be is always on his mind the more his stomach gives him issues or his body feels like it's breaking down more and more. Should try and get everything in check, try and cut out some things maybe but he's never been the most disciplined in anything that isn't religion and even then he knows he falls off that wagon on occasion. He has to miss two more classes and on one of the nights he can't sleep, his stomach contorting in on itself and his bones feeling an ache he can't shake he wishes you were there. Your presence that one night, curled up against him after he had woken up and found you on the couch only to carry you to his bed had been some of the best sleep he'd had in such a long time. You might not have healed all his ills but you served to be a balm he couldn't help but crave on this night.

The thing about him missing is that he can't know- he doesn't know that you notice the second it's Joe up at the front of your class again and you swear you want to throw up. Your stomach drops so far out of your body that it might as well be in the core of the Earth. Elvis wasn't here again which meant something- some part of his body was acting up again. Maybe you shouldn't have been on his thigh after the last class, maybe you should have just let it be one of those times when you just talked and relaxed with one another and not let it turn sexual. No- No, it would have happened regardless, after all, the last time he had missed you and him hadn't even done anything other than talk. That was before- you wouldn't dwell on it, if this was anything like the last time he'd be back come next class a little more worn down and needing perhaps more company and a bit of help but he would be fine. He's always been so larger than life and so strong that there was nothing to worry about.

Except- he doesn't come back after that first class and he misses another one and you had been lulled into a false sense of security thinking he was alright when no one including Joe was there early. No, instead you had Jerry coming in almost five minutes late telling everyone that class was canceled since anyone who would take over for EP was a little occupied and as nice as he's heard everyone was- he's a business professor- an economics one- not a religious studies kind of guy. You don't expect people to be loitering outside of the class, figuring that much like any college students they'd be rushing to the library to study or to their dorms or apartments to sleep. You wish people had done that, wished the two people you come upon would have done that.

"He's gonna be dead in a year if that, man." The student- James you think- says, rolling his eyes. "My brother had him last year and he missed one class, we're on what, our third?"

"Third and the Tour Guide wearing his jacket. Maybe that's why- she's drained him." The other laughs quietly.

"She hasn't worn it since the middle of October, no, she's already moved on. Wouldn't be surprised if he passed her along to his little Mafia." James pauses. "Whatever the case- he's dead next year. If he even gets through the semester. Sucks, man, he wasn't the worst professor."

There's a part of you that wants to hear what they have to say, hear how they want to blame you for Professor- Elvis not being here but you can feel your heartbeat rushing in your ears and feel your eyes welling up with tears you can't- you refuse- to shed in front of people and find yourself pushing past them, your boots thumping on floor as both of them laugh just a little realizing you had been listening to them the whole time.

They had to be wrong, they had to be wrong because as sick as maybe Elvis was he wasn't- he couldn't be that sick. No, they were just- joking around, they had to have been. Maybe they knew you were there the whole time and just said it to mock you, after all, you know it's truly no secret that you are his favorite student and were even before- the incident. If they were right though, that meant-that meant after this semester he was gone. You'd never hear a story about how stupid some of your classmates were or about hear him sing like he had that one night again. You'd never share another set of snacks and a drink with him. He'd be gone and you'd be- He'd be gone and the world would feel a little bit dimmer.

The idea of a world without Professor Presley, a world without Elvis swirls in your mind that weekend as you force yourself to do your schoolwork. Ignoring it would be so easy and you could just curl up with his jacket and with your favorite book or in front of the little television and just pretend you hadn't heard any of that. Any time you think of doing that, though, you hear a voice that sounds suspiciously like his with a little backing of a voice that sounds like yours in your mind reminding you that you should do your work. So you do and you eat and you do everything you're supposed to that weekend as you try to avoid thinking of what the other students had said. It's hard but you manage well enough. Monday comes sooner than you'd like and you find yourself dreading entering Elvis's- Professor Presley's class. You sit down in your normal spot though, your eyes shut as you try to relax and burrow yourself into his jacket as you do.

His cane taps against the floor and a breath you hadn't realized that you were holding comes out of your mouth in a rush. He's here, he's alive and he's going to be teaching class today. You bite your lower lip as you hear the taps stop right behind you and feel Elvis's hand grasp your shoulder, just as warm as it always is. You hear his voice rumbling, even with so much exhaustion coloring the tone about how he's glad to see you where you’re supposed to be and you look up at him to see something in his eyes, something that feels like a spark of the man you've fallen for completely this semester. Maybe- no, you don't dare hope fully.

Class feels like a blur and while there is a debate as per his usual it's much more subdued with you barely offering input and him still feeling a little too rough to really force some excitement into it. A part of you wants to just head straight to your other class and not entertain the idea of going to Elvis's office but as you start to leave you hear the tap of his cane following you and hear his voice.

"Y/N." He starts, his eyes roaming your top half and settling on his jacket. "Gonna see ya in five minutes?"

The word no is on the tip of your tongue, you should say no but you've been so worried about him that you nod slowly, adjusting the straps on your bag and it earns a small smile from him as he walks off slower than normal but still seeming just as strong as normal with the tap of the cane. It takes you a little longer than five minutes to reach him, almost as if you're too nervous to really go to his office but when you get there the door is wide open and you see two drinks on the desk and you settle yourself onto the couch.

Talking- even with everything- comes so naturally to the two of you that you hardly realize how you both shift closer to the other as you talk. You hardly realize how you're close enough that you can feel his body heat against your side and that he feels the same thing. This is how it always seems to start since the Incident, with you two moving closer and closer until you're in his lap and today is no exception. Except, maybe it is because you're wearing his jacket and you saw a glimmer of something in his eyes that tell you maybe there's something there. That maybe the person you want to spend all your time with is still there underneath everything. You don't know when you decide to hook your leg over his thigh, thanking every god you know that he has a tendency to spread his legs even if there's no reason to and you hike up your skirt just a hair as you start to grind against his thigh, facing him as you do. Your hands move to try and cup his face, try and pull him closer to you before you feel his hands on your hips manhandling you to face that opposite way.

No. This- no, this isn't- you want him but not like this any more. God you can't- why was it so hard for him to let you just look at him when you do things like this. He was gone for two classes and you were so worried but he won't look at you. You're wearing his jacket and he noticed and he won't let you look at him. Your body can't help itself, still grinding a bit as you try and maneuver yourself back to facing him only to be stopped time and time again by his grip. It's not punishing and it's not going to bruise- you hope- but he won't let you turn. He won't let you turn and his mouth starts to spew words that make you want to curl up in on yourself.

His mouth hisses into your ear. "The Jezebel doesn't want it this way? Doesn't want my thigh today? Too good for me?"

You snarl, tears starting to form in your eyes out of sheer frustration and anguish rolled into one. "I never- I'm not saying that, I just- Elvis, please, let me look at you." Your body starts to contort in positions you didn't think were possible as you continue to try and face him only to be brushed aside.

Words are leaving his mouth, you hear them faintly but you finally just launch yourself off his thigh, chest heaving and eyes fiery as can be. Your legs shake at the sudden loss of his thigh that had supported you up until now but you stand your ground as best as you can. "No, I'm not- We're not doing this, not like this, I- What have I even done to deserve this? This- God, I don't even know what to call it. This joke? This playing with me like this?"

"Playing with ya like this?" He barks, heaving his body off of the couch and moving to stand in front of you, his blue eyes stormy as anything you've ever seen in your life. "That's goddamn rich comin' from ya. Lil Miss Jezebel. The Tour Guide. The Harlot who-"

"Don't!" You shout, not even caring if anyone outside in the hallways can hear you. "Stop calling me that! I'm not- You wouldn't call me a good girl if I was any of those things!"

"They're- They don't hafta be seperate, darlin'!" His emphasis on the nickname is punctuated by him inching even closer to you, his words getting lower as he starts to hiss them. "Because you're most certainly a Jezebel, climbin' on me every chance ya get. Actin' like your God's gift to men wit' the others. Tell me, that new professor, t'one in the math department-"

"What other- Is this about-" Your thoughts jumble as they try to catch up with what he's saying. He's calling you a complete Jezebel and asking about someone who doesn't even exist to you. Your chest heaves as you push yourself into the little bit of space between you, your pointer finger pointing at his chest. "The new professor? The one I had to ask for help for because he's the only math professor who hasn't tried to come onto me?"

"Do- Do I look stupid to you, Jezebel?" He asks, almost as if he's afraid to say your name. "I heard from the other professors-"

"You could have asked me!" The words are spit out of your mouth and you can even see a bit of spittle flying onto his face. It brings you a sick sense of satisfaction to see how his already angry face slides between pure shock and more anger. "I thought we were friendly enough to do that! I've been to your house, Elvis!"

The noise that comes out of him before he can even get words out is truly defined as a snarl and a growl in the truest sense of the words. If you hadn't known any better you'd have thought you were arguing with a wild animal. It startles you to the point where you back away just a bit, not because you're worried he'll hurt you- no he's never been that type even with everything- but just because it's your natural instinct in the face of something like that. Despite that, he follows you, moves closer again even as his voice roars leaving his mouth. "You've been in my bed, Y/N! My goddamn bed! Curled up next t'me like ya belonged there!"

You duck away from him, almost as if to escape feeling very much like a cornered animal. He's not going to hurt you- he won't because he's not like- he's not like the rest of them but you can't defend yourself if he pins you down with his body or his words. His eyes follow you like a predator stalking prey even if you both know you've never truly been prey to him or perhaps anyone else. "That's exactly my point! Why wouldn't you just ask me?"

"'Cuz ya'd have lied!" His answer is slurred, the anger truly getting the better of him as he moves to cage you against the wall, only to have you slide away again.

"Not to you, Elvis!" How could he even think you'd lie to him about something like that? That you'd truly lie to him in general? "I've never lied to you!" You hadn't told him things but you had never lied, not a true and honest lie.

"Haven't ya?" He doesn't move this time, instead choosing to stare you down. "Tell me, Jezebel. Did ya just wanna fuck me so ya could tell everyone ya did? How ya got me when I haven't fooled around with a student in all my years and I haven't fooled around with anyone going on at least a year? Or was this just ya bein' sweet on the fat ol' man?"

The flinch that comes from you is unexpected and you look down at your body wondering if he shot you or slapped you and you didn't realize. There isn't a mark on you, no blood showing, no handprint making a mark on you. There is just you wishing he would have slapped you or injured you in some way because maybe it would hurt less than the words he had just said. It would hurt less than the accusation he's just thrown your way. You do not cry in front of people, you refuse to, knowing tears never make things better when you're caged and yet you feel your lower lip starting to jut and your nose starting to run before you shake your head. It's- he's not- he is wrong and you need to prove that to him.

"Just being sweet on the fat old man." You can't help but laugh, the cacophony of emotions threatening to tear you apart at the seams. "Do you- Do you hear yourself? I- What is it, Elvis? Am I your Jezebel sent to what ruin your little God Fearing self? Or am I just some Jezebel who's sweet on you? Or are you going to tell me I'm both? That I'm not good enough for you? Too used?"

You see his jaw tighten and you worry if you've said the wrong thing. You worry that he's seen how you look like you're about to cry and something is going to go wrong but he just takes a step closer to you, his cane tapping on the floor just once. His head tilts just slightly to the side. "I know what I said, lil Jezebel. I know that you've been actin' all sweet, actin' like you're worthy of the nickname Belle. Worryin' 'bout me. Comin' to my house, gettin' me into bed but when I worry 'bout ya, put ya in my bed next to me, ya leave me alone. Then I hear t'boys. Hear what the lil professors you'll eventually fuck gotta say about ya. Ya just playin' a lil game wit' me, ain't ya?"

You bite your lower lip as an answer before you take a deep breath as you start to head to the door, trying to open it only to realize at some point he's locked it. You could unlock it but you feel the need to turn around and defend yourself. "That's- Elvis. No. No- I- I wouldn't- I honestly like you!" You don't dare say love because if he thinks this low of you he's not going to want to hear it. "I care about you! I- You haven't been here for almost a week in actual days counted and I've been worried. They're making jokes about you dying and that idea terrifies-"

He cuts you off as he takes another step and you hear another tap of that goddamn cane as you find yourself moving up against the wall, realizing you can't move. "Stop. Lyin'."

"I'm not- Elvis- I'm not! Why can't you- I'm I wouldn't lie to you about something like this. I wouldn't lie to anyone like this." You want to be strong, you want to fight more but it's as if he's saying everything exactly to hurt you in just the right way. He's saying everything that just cuts through any defense you have for it.

It finally starts to weigh on you, finally starts to drag you down into the depths you were trying so hard not to fall into. He- he won't understand either because of his own choices and stubbornness or because the idea is foreign to him. The idea that you were terrified- you the girl who is so strong that you've taken something that should be an insult and wear it with a bit of pride or at least wear it in a way that lessens its effect- is so foreign it truly refuses to penetrate his brain. At last that's the only thing that crosses your own mind as you feel cornered. You feel trapped and like- you feel like something is finally breaking within you. That this, out of everything you've had thrown at you is what's broken you. The wall behind you reminds you of his solid form except it's all wrong, it's so cold that it can't be him. He's standing in front of you, blue eyes raging like a hurricane and his body coiled like a tight spring, his cane holding up his leg as he moves forward to cage you in again and that's it. 

Your body sags against the wall, using it to remain somewhat upright as you slunk down to the floor, unshed tears congealing in a hard mass in your throat. You try and swallow only to have something again to a low groan or small whine escape your lips. This- he's broken you, you've been so strong only to let this stupid man who you shouldn't have even gone for in the first place break you. This stupid man who was- who felt so different and like he held every promise for happiness in the words he spoke. In the praise he gave you. In the way his body felt like it was made to hold you and touch you in ways you yearned for.

"Jesus-" His voice sounds crushed above you and for some reason there's a part of you that feels a victorious delight in the fact that you've made him sound like that. Made him sound as anguished as he's made you feel for weeks. As anguished as you feel thinking of him dead. “Y/N- Get up- Ya g-gotta stand up darlin’.” 

No you don’t, hell you don’t even trust that your legs would let you stand up at this point, as much as you feel them minutely shaking. No, you’re quite content to stay on the floor, feeling almost catatonic in the way your mind is focusing on everything about the past semester. You try to close your eyes as if that will make the tears that are threatening to fall go away when all it does is make them slide out the corner of your eyes. That's the final dam bursting as more follow even as you don't want them to. All that’s in your mind is every moment he’s touched you, every moment you’ve walked next to him, every moment when his eyes were like sapphires glittering as he looked at you laughing over a bottle of Pepsi while you waved your hands talking. You remember every hint of praise that had your mind going a little fuzzy and had you shiver for a want of more. 

"Anyone ever tell ya how insightful ya are?" No because even if you paid attention during class and did the readings and made the grades they didn't care. 

"Ya ever thought about teachin'? Though the debate was a goner till ya put it back on track." That was nothing, just you wanting to make sure no one lost the point Elvis was trying to teach.

"You've been makin' this semester a goddamn breeze."

Perhaps you had but for what? For him to be missing class and looking half strung out or exhausted when he came back? In all the time you had spent together he hadn't even hadn't even told you what the problem was- what took him away from you and from a job he loved. Maybe everyone was right, maybe this might be his last semester teaching and look what you’ve done- you’ve made it so his last hurrah is being known as your last fling or just another fling in your series. The thought makes your stomach roil at doing that to him- doing that to a man that God help you- you had fallen head over heels for to the point that you wanted him at any cost and in any way you could get him. 

"You're- darlin'- you shouldn't b-be-" He has to stop himself from talking, feeling an old stutter starting to rear its ugly head. His breath comes out shakily as he tries to focus on you, focus on how your shoulders are shaking with tears and how he did this to you. How he's done something that's irrevocably harmed you. He hadn't wanted this, not even at his most angry has he wanted this. "Don't- don't cry. Goddammit, calm down. God, why'd ya hafta get on the ground."

You look up and for a brief moment there’s a flash of fire in your eyes, a pang of pure annoyance at what he says. "I'm sorry to inconvenience you once again! Make the great Elvis Presley have to get down on the ground. Put him at the Jezebel's level. Leave me down here where I apparently deserve to be."

"Ya know I didn't mean it like that! Goddammit Belle, jus' meant my knees-" He has to take a deep breath, slow and steady and shut his eyes as he gets down to your level before he opens them and cups your cheek, trying to be gentle even as you flinch a little and shake your head. "This- you s-shouldn't be cryin' like this." Not over him and what he's done. Over everything that's been done from the very start. "Ain't worth it."

More accurately he ain't worth it.

"I don't know anything when it comes to you, Mr. Presley." You pull away as your tears start to fall even faster. "I am crying like this over a man who thinks I'm- Don't call me Belle, don't call me that like you did when I was leaving you in your bed. Don't act like you care." After all, he doesn't, he can't because who would care for you and feel the way he does about you. Believe the things he does about you without giving you a chance to explain. "I'm just a harlot. I'm the Tour Guide of the school who now even you get to say you've slept with. You've still got it."

"Darlin'." His voice is pitched lower, almost as if he's trying to talk to a skittish animal. As if he's scared if he talks any louder he'll spook you and that you'll run away for good. "I-I never said I didn't care. W-Wouldn't've put ya in my bed that night if I didn't. Ya looked- ya looked freezin' 'n i couldn't stand it." He pauses, his features darkening for a moment. "Then ya left in the mornin' 'fore I even woke up."

You had left in the morning. You had left that morning because every time you stay at someone's house, some professor's house it's always ended so poorly. The way his face darkens as he tells you that makes your body shiver even as his jacket- that for some ungodly reason you still have, that for some ungodly reason you couldn't get rid of- tries to keep you warm. The anger he has makes you think you were right to avoid him that morning- he- but if he cared, if he meant to put you in there- then you should have stayed. He wanted to wake up to you, wanted to have you burrowed into his side. It makes you freeze.

Elvis looks at you and sees how your body tenses up, sees how you're frozen in place and he frowns as you start to speak. "When I stay in the morning, it's not pretty, Elvis. I- I didn't want you to be the same."

His hand clenches into a fist as he shuts his eyes. His breaths are slow and measured for what feels like an eternity before you see him unclench his fist and look at you. "Ya mean how the Chemistry professor's wife would have beaten ya black and blue if she had gotten a real proper hand on ya? 'Stead of the shiner ya had for a week? Or how ya busted yer ankle hoppin' outta tha' one history professor's window. Ya want me to go on?"

Something blooms in your chest at him telling you about those times. You hadn't even met him when any of those times happened. Sure, you had seen him around campus but he didn't- couldn't have even known your name. You open your mouth, tears still falling but slower as your body tries to calm you down. "You- You shouldn't know about-"

"'ve got eyes don't I?" He responds, as if that explains everything. "Y/N- Belle- I noticed ya before ya ever stepped foot in my class. And they talk, darlin', oh do they talk."

It's then that you look away, almost ashamed at knowing that he's always known about you actions. It is absolutely no wonder that he called you what he did, why he believes you to be what he's called you. You have to pause before you speak, trying to gather your thoughts, rubbing at your eyes as you do. "And that's- that's why you've been- if you've heard all the stories and do know about me then I guess you're not wrong in calling me Jezebel. Just adding you to my long list. But- you- when that's what happens when I don't leave- why do you think-"

His voice takes on an edge of frustration you think, or maybe it's genuine hurt. "Ya really think I'd've done any of that to ya? Ya think I'd do any of that t' someone 've been callin' Belle in my mind 'cause I sometimes look at ya n' I can only think of that damn word in French?" He moves to stand up, his knees and other joints cracking just a bit. "Get up, darlin'. I- just trust me this once and get up."

A stubborn part of you wants to stay on the ground, just sit there and stew in your tears and feelings but when you look up at him with blurry eyes you can't help but heave yourself off the floor and plant yourself just close enough to him that you're looking into each other's eyes if you look up through your lashes. "I- Elvis-" You start to speak only to have him cup your face and the warmth of his hand juxtaposed with the calluses on his fingertips has your eyes fluttering shut against your will. He's not supposed to be this soft, not to someone- not to the person he doesn't care about, the person he's only roughly fucked while pretending it didn't happen afterward. "Don't."

When you say that word he pulls away his hand and you think he's listening to you, think that he's doing what you're asking him to do only to hear the next words that come out of his mouth. "Blow your nose, Belle." His hand that hand left your face, had left your cheeks came back with a handkerchief, monogrammed with a cursive EP. He doesn't necessarily shove it under your nose but it's a near miss even as he kisses your forehead. "I'm not moving it from under here till ya do, Belle."

"I'm not a-" You start before looking up at him and realizing despite his comforting air no part of him is doing this because he thinks you're a kid. No, he knows you're a grown woman- you're a grown woman he wants to be with until his dying breath. "I can hold my own handkerchief."

His lips stop in the middle of attempting to give you another peck on your cheek a slight chuckle escaping him. "Would ya quit bein' stubborn? Tryin' to comfort ya and you're tellin' me ya can hold your own handkerchief. 've been a goddamn asshole let me show ya 'm really a good southern gentleman at heart."

"Southern gentleman don't act the way you did." You shakily exhale, realizing that he's trying to comfort you, trying to place small kisses on your face as if that is solving anything. You shake your head. "Southern gentleman don't play with people like that."

"Darlin', trust me, the older we get, the more every single Southern gentleman does." He pauses to look down at you, his blue eyes narrowed. "I try t'be a gentleman but Lord knows 've got a temper wit' a wrath that rivals God himself. 'N I think I took that out on ya. I- I'm- Ya wounded my pride, alright? Sayin' what you said when I asked if ya wanted me t'fuck ya. I know- I know I can get a woman, but I don't- It's usually more of one night stand or somethin' that's lackin'-" He rubs at his neck. "Care. Doesn't have that tender lovin' care I need nowadays more than I did when I was younger."

Care. Oh, you had been so- you both had been so stupid. Your eyes flit up and you notice how vulnerable he looks just in this moment and you swear it takes your breath away. "Elvis. I didn't- I thought you were trying to make me beg." A pause. "I was trying to what I thought you liked. I didn't- You've never been- No one else has made me feel like you make me feel."

So loved, so proud of, so everything under the sun. There's a reason your heart and your brain had wanted to spend the rest of his life and your life together. Being with him felt right when you stripped away everything that's been happening.

Elvis is silent for a moment, almost as if he's debating his next words or actions even as he still places another kiss to the crown of your head and uses his thumb to wipe away tears that keep falling and holding the handkerchief by your nose. He finally puts the handkerchief away, freeing that hand and using it to cup your chin. He tilts your head up just a hair so that you can see his eyes shining with what you think might be unshed tears as his voice becomes so gentle it twists your heart. "What d'ya want from me?"

"Everything." You choke out your answer, your voice scratching and sounding so raw when you do that you almost want to hide. "I want to be with you after this semester. I want to dance with you like we did that night. I- God- I want to wake up with you every day until one of us dies. I just want to be yours."

At your last words the tears start falling in earnest again and it breaks something in Elvis a little, seeing you cry after that confession. He doesn't waste a second before pulling you into a soft kiss, using his grip on your chin to make it easier. You want more but he's pulling away and placing kisses on your forehead and your cheeks, chasing after the tears in a way that's so gentle you'd think it's fatherly but it's not- it's just him allowing you to be a human again. Allowing you to be more than just the harlot or the Jezebel. Seeing you as the person he's always thought you have been before the Incident and even after the Incident.

"Ya mean it?" There's a small part of him that curses how he sounds asking that but he needs to hear it from you. Hear that you're being honest and truthful with him about what you want. "If ya gonna change ya mind I need t'know right now."

You sniffle and shake your head. "I mean it! I want to be with you and only you. I've only been with you since that day. Haven't flirted or anything. I want to do my work on your desk, want to curl up on your couch with you just- I want you. I want you, my Elvis, my Big Daddy because you're- You're the only one who's ever treated me like more." You pause, taking a deep breath. "Like I'm worth getting to know beyond just my pussy. I can't- I don't want to go back to a world where I don't have you. Where I'm not able to kiss you and be with you in whatever way I can. Where I can't fill your house with-" You stop yourself, because that's too much, that's not something you're admitting to him right now. "I just I want you. I'm not changing my mind, if I was going to I would have the second you didn't give me back my panties, Elvis. When you were so mean and hurtful and-"

He cuts you off with another kiss, this time a little less gentle but still nothing compared to what he wants to do to you. His teeth nip at your lower lip just a bit and you can't help the whimper that escapes you as he pulls away your mouth trying to follow his. Looking in his eyes, you see something different, you see the overwhelming lust, the blown pupils threatening to overwhelm his blue eyes but more than that you see a man who looks so in love with you he might as well keel over with the sheer force of it.

"Feel like an idiot for missin' out on that. Gonna keep kissin you like that for as long as i can. Ya realize that." He pauses as his eyes rake over your form. "Get on the desk, Y/N. My sweet Belle." His emphasis on the nickname, Belle versus Jezebel is the only thing that reassures you he's not planning on doing anything rough. That he has a plan for you to look at him while he does- whatever it is. You take a minute to hop up, sniffling once again as you rub at your eyes. Your emotions are still a mess but you can- this helps, you think.

Elvis grunts, using the cane and a grip on your knee to help ease him onto the ground right in front of your legs, right in between your legs as his hands dance up your thighs. His gaze is on you, full of promise and want as his hands inch further up and up until he reaches between your legs, one hand moving to cup your pussy while the other grabs your hip and pulls you a little closer to the edge of the desk.

"You been payin' attention in class?" He asks as you can't help but whimper a little at the feel of his hand covering you like that. "Specifically this one? What we talked 'bout at the beginning?"

Your head nods slowly as you shiver, feeling the fabric of your underwear being pulled lower and lower down your legs. "You mean psalm 51? What about it, Elvis?"

"Think ya can recite it by memory?" The words of his question are punctuated by kisses up your legs, starting with your calves before moving to knees and then to your thighs. He bites softly causing you to clench them together around his head before he mumbles a no. "While I'm here between your legs."

It feels like a challenge and it causes a curl of arousal to shoot directly between your legs as your vagina clenches around nothing. His hand feels the movement and you can feel the smirk of his lips against your skin before you answer as he puts one singular finger inside of you. "I can." You sigh out your answer as he curls that one finger your arousal making it easy for him to.

Hard doesn't even begin to explain how it is to try and speak- to try and remember the psalm as you feel his tongue flick against your clit once, twice, before moving down to your folds. Another finger has joined the first and you can feel them inside of you, following where his tongue traces. His licks and strokes are leisurely done, almost as if he wants to drag this out, wants to go at the pace that you're speaking when all you want to do is have your orgasm that you can feel brewing but when you stop to take a breath, so does he. It's infuriating right until the midway point when you say "grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me" his mouth wraps around your clit, sucking and even giving you a small nip as his fingers curl against your g-spot. It shouldn't be enough to help you cum, it shouldn't and yet you feel your toes curling and your thighs tightening around his head as he hums in satisfaction. Your body shakes, grinding against his mouth even as his free hand tries to keep your hips from moving. Your thighs don't unclench until he taps at your leg and even then they still shake as he pulls away, mouth glistening with your release as you try and pull him up for a kiss only to have him continue his attack on your cunt.

You keep reciting, feeling as if that's what he wants you to do despite how your voice shakes and how you whimper the more sensitive everything becomes. You cum again by the end of your first full recitation, panting with your chest heaving. There is a thought in your mind to tell Elvis to stop, that you need a break but even though you are starting to feel over stimulated, the way he's looking up at you as his mouth does sinful things to you, as he teases your swollen clit with his fingers and his mouth more and more stops you. His free hand moves to lock fingers with the one of your hands that isn't winding through his hair, yanking and earning growls the more you speak. The intimacy of it all has you nearly sobbing tears of joy this time, not the tears of sadness you had been experiencing. You feel yourself cumming in a way that's unfamiliar as you stutter out the words "my tongue will sing of your righteousness" and Elvis has to pull away, a chuckle escaping him as you see his whole face might as well be covered in your release. It takes him a moment to recover but you swear you hear him talking about squirting when he kisses his way up your thigh and back to his task at hand. When you finally finish the psalm the second time your body is shaking and his tongue and fingers and everything are so overwhelming that when you attempt to start the psalm for a third time you say the first words five times.

"Daddy please, let me cum. Please, I've been good." The words are whimpers when they leave your mouth as you try and grind and get to that edge.

"I know, Belle, been so good, taste even better." He mutters against your clit.

That does it, that has your hand clenching his and your other pulling his hair as you grind on his face, practically smothering him as you cum. The sheer intensity of it has you thumping backward on the desk, trying to catch your breath as your legs shake and you hear him speaking against your thigh. You catch bits of the word holy and jezebel and God and you feel a warmth settle in your body that you can't quite explain. You use your hand to pull him away enough that you can understand him before you ask.

"Are- Are you talking to God- thanking God for me?" The concept boggles your mind but it's so touching at the same time that your heart threatens to burst at the idea.

"Think 've been thankin' God for ya since I first saw ya, but 'specially since I saw ya in my class. My holy- My sweet holy Belle." He winces at the crack his knees make when he gets up and leans both on the cane on the desk when he finally stands up. "None of 'em deserved ya 'n I'm not too sure I do but- 'll try to deserve ya."

Your hands move to cup his face, marveling in how he nuzzles up against your palm before you smile, pulling him in for a soft kiss. "Trust me, Elvis, I think you're the only one who ever has." You nuzzle at his nose before pulling away. "How about you let this pretty little sinner, this harlot, this Jezebel take care of you. I don't have a class and-"

Elvis cuts you off with another kiss before he nods. "Only if Big Daddy-" He looks at you, reminding you that yes, your nickname you have for him snuck out. "Gets to take care of his pretty lil sinner, his Belle, and help her wash away all those sins."

The light in the smile you give him could power the whole of the campus for months if you could bottle it up. You slide off the desk a little less gracefully than you mean to before nodding. "Lead the way, Elvis." A pause. "I love you."

"Ain't I the luckiest man for it too." He adjusts himself in his pants, hoping you don't notice that there's a bit of a wet spot on them where his cock should be. "Love ya too. Come on now, never did get to show ya Graceland's shower in my room."

taglist: @elvisgirl35, @butlersluvbott, @lokis-right-femur, @godlypresley, @steph-speaks, @lindszeppelin, @eliseinmemphiss, @thatbanditqueen, @venus-haze, @lrd98, @ab4eva, @blurredcolour, @butlersxbirdy, @notstefaniepresley, @holyastronauts, @vintageshanny, @powerofelvis and @ellie-24 and i think that's it? i don't know and apologies if you got tagged twice, i trusted a copy/paste.

[mikeysbride]

Welcome Back to Trench

When our kids introduced us to the world of the twenty one pilots fandom a couple of years ago, we were initially full of corny parent jokes:

Why are they called twenty one pilots when there are only two of them?

That's way too many pilots.

They're gonna need a bigger cockpit.

Why, for the love of God, don't they capitalize their name!?

That's not to say we don't still say those things sometimes (thank goodness our teens generally find us amusing), but it's also wild to see how big a part of our family dynamic this duo has become over these couple of years...so much so that I've even suggested that when we finally get a dog, he should be named Clancy. [T.O.P. fans will understand.] They are in regular rotation in our home and in our cars. Last year, they were one of my top 5 most listened to artists on Spotify! And last night, at last, we all went to see them perform live on the aptly-named Clancy Tour. It was the first time seeing them for all 5 of us - our family of 4, along with my 16yo's...um, favorite boy, we'll call him. I don't think she's been quite this happy since maybe when we first surprised her with AJR tickets. But as much as she loves AJR (we all do now!), twenty one pilots is HER band as Living Colour is mine, and Genesis is her dad's. Now we are all along for the ride.

And last night, much of Orlando was also along for that ride, having sold out the Kia Center pretty much immediately when the tickets went on sale months ago. I had a feeling their show would be high energy and that the crowd would be super hyped, and I was not wrong about that. But after being as impressed as I was by AJR (twice!) this year, I wasn't 100% sure what to expect. Tyler and Josh did not disappoint, though, and I have to say I am also quite impressed with THEM...not that I didn't think I would be. We've watched enough of their music videos and live performance clips (full concerts, even) on YouTube for me to know this, too, wasn't going to be just an ordinary concert.

To the point, Tyler and Josh have a way of immersing themselves into the crowd (literally) that makes them feel like they are right there with you - because they are - spending quite a bit of time out amongst their fans instead of on the stage. They are seemingly everywhere at once, making it feel like an intimate performance even with thousands of people in the audience. And the fire. There was a lot of fire, which I rather appreciated because, being prone to being cold, I was chilly in the arena, and it was nice to sometimes be able to feel a bit of warmth from the flames, all the way up our cushy club level seats!

We heard so many favorite songs of theirs last night, including my newest favorite from them, the super catchy "Lavish," but I have not stopped playfully pouting yet that they didn't do my O.G. favorite of theirs - the one that really stuck out to me when I first heard them, and that is "Lane Boy." I love that one so much that I have a bit of a reputation for it at this point. With a catalog as extensive as theirs is, they can't be expected to play everything, but man, hearing that one live would've made the night absolutely, undeniably perfect for me. Here's hoping they'll add it back in on a future tour.

Also on the subject of their music, I couldn't help but giggle thinking that Tyler doesn't really even need to know his own lyrics because that arena full of fans was more than happy to sing every line for him. From the first notes of every song, they were READY. If anyone knows the assignment, it's T.O.P. fans. Apparently, my kids aren't the only ones who can recite their songs like the Pledge of Allegiance. This is a thing I know now.

And finally, a huge thank you to Tyler for actually telling those of us in reserved seats to sit and rest for a few songs. Not to be the old lady in the room, but I'm long past the age of wanting to stand for an entire show, in most cases preferring to sit and truly hear the music and watch what is happening on the stage - or in this case (also) in the middle of the crowd somewhere. It was a bit of a reprieve when he said that.

Eh, so maybe I'll let that "Lane Boy" thing slide after all.

[putschki1969]

Hello! I just wanna say thank you for providing info and updates about our beloved divas of late Kalafina until now. It's just sad that there aren't many people who know their endeavors after Kalafina. Even a part of Madoka Magica fandom guessed Wakana is just missing since she didn't (and couldn't) join Kajiura's recent tour, unlike Hikaru.

Hello there lovely anon! Sorry for the late reply. I am finally back from Japan and slowly working through my inbox. It's gonna take a while until I am done with everything so everyone, please be patient with me🙏

You are absolutely right. Most fans have no idea what's going on these days. I am continuously surprised by how utterly uninvolved so many of them are, even the ones who claim to be longtime dedicated fans. Every time I get a question about Wakana's situation I cannot help but wonder if that person has been living under a rock for the past five years...But yeah, I guess not everyone is as invested as little old me XD

And yes, it is a shame that only few fans are interested in their solo work. To some extent it's understandable of course. We like what we like and their solo stuff is considerably different to what we are used to from Yuki Kajiura and Kalafina but nonetheless, I feel an inherent desire to support them. I will openly admit that I am not as passionate about most of their solo releases but I still enjoy enough of it to keep me invested, at least for the time being. Sometimes I will have these phases where I think that I am slowly falling out of love with them but my most recent live experiences have once again shown me that I am still 100% smitten with my girls. Their performances continue to blow me away. They have my heart💗

[ca-suffit]

I’m one of five people that hasn’t read the books and loved Queen of the Damned as a vampire movie, again haven’t read the books don’t fully know the lore, and the route their going for “rockstar” Lestat isn’t my cup of tea. I’m not writing him off since all we saw was a drop in the pool, but it feels like it’s gonna be poprock tiktok and I don’t enjoy that in real life so I’m not sure I’m gonna enjoy it in show. But we will see. Your thoughts on clip we saw.

well, the books have a huge tone shift like this too. it's fitting the canon in that sense, but unfortunately bcuz of the show's race changes, the fandom's racist response to that since before it even aired, and the show focusing more on only whiteness and white fans since S2, it's hard to feel v hype for this tbh.

they're changing the one night concert in the books to a full tour, so this will prbly feature in the plot heavier than it does in TVL *or* QotD. they're prbly gonna have some musical episodes too. It depends how they tell his backstory. they might choose to do it all thru his music. I'm kind of assuming they're gonna do that.

I found the clip rly underwhelming tbh. I feel like it's just a small part of the overall story but it's v tone deaf how they've done a lot of this. whether it ends up being any good or not, I think their viewership is gonna suffer from this. there was a better way they could have set this all up but they didn't. I'm hoping the show offers more than this little promo gives but I'm already foreseeing not rly caring if I watch episodes as they air or not. this gave me nothing, personally. seeing the racist fandom eat up this bland, white shit is not surprising either but more cements my distaste of it all. ppl couldn't appreciate S1 or S2 for what it was and actively harassed anyone who did, just for this garbage to be what they've been "waiting for." dull af and all that.

[yellowloid]

i think one of the main problems of tumblr (and fandom culture, and the internet in general) is that people tend to forget as human beings we are made of multitudes. nothing is ever just black or white - there are infinite shades of grey in between and that is the very thing that makes us, well, human.

sometimes people have contrasting opinions within themselves and - guess what - even contrasting feelings. sometimes people feel strongly about stuff and that is okay. you can love something/someone so much and at the same time find yourself disappointed by something related to it/them. that happens. it's okay.

i'm not gonna talk about what's going on on twitter because tbh i haven't checked so i have no idea wtf they're on about there, but i want to focus on our little tumblr community - which is so special because of the fact that it is (mostly) conflict-free, and if there's something we share it's a kind of visceral love for the boys that i'm sure everyone here can understand.

this is not an indirect @ anyone in particular, but i've seen some posts going around talking about all the negativity on the dash after last night, and i wanted to share my two cents on that.

we all love them. we all fucking love them so much and we know every time they set foot on stage we're guaranteed to be blown away by how fucking good and special and talented they are. they know how to deliver a spectacular performance (even in emergency situations like yesterday, with alex's laryngitis which is definitely far from gone) and they know how to keep the audience's attention fixed on them. they're a special kind of hypnotising, and every show is unique in and of itself *because* of their incredible presence, regardless of what setlist they might give us.

we all know that, and yesterday's show was no exception. it was amazing, powerful and breathtaking like every show they deliver. mindblowing, as always. as simple as that.

and that's exactly what can turn disappointing real quick. they know how fucking good they are. they know how much potential they have, and that all this tour they've been using up to 10% of said potential. they're incredibly talented and smart, and still decide to stick to their comfort zone every. single. night. with few exceptions, obviously, and mostly never from the album they're supposed to be touring. that's what upsets people here - the fact that they're letting their own HUGE potential go to waste.

glastonbury is a milestone. they had nothing to prove, of course, having headlined it already and more than once in the past. everyone knows what they're capable of. but glastonbury is special, too, and instead if felt like just another random show they could then go and tick off their list. done, next. rinse and repeat.

and of course we also all know it was an emergency. alex has been straining his voice for a long time now - the three consecutive london gigs were the breaking point, and i'm so glad they took a bit of time to let him rest, despite the fact that they probably hated having to cancel the dublin show. but they couldn't ditch glasto, and so they showed up and they did a fucking amazing job. alex sounded so good and i think i can speak for all of us when i say i was so incredibly relieved to see he was okay. i was shaking and biting my nails worried sick about him for DAYS up to the moment they appeared on stage and seeing him get up there and kill it with a fucking crazy performance, putting in all that effort and dedication despite the fact that he's no doubt still recovering (no way his laryngitis is 100% gone, and i hope he gets some more rest because he needs it) made me so proud of him, so fucking happy and proud and i couldn't really love him more. i love him so much, i love them all so much and i know everyone here also does. no one here is blaming it on him for whatever happened yesterday. we're all just fucking glad and grateful he could show up in the first place. he's the most special most talented most beautiful little guy ever and we all love and cherish him so much it hurts. and he did so fucking well, as always. i hope he knows that, and i hope he knows he's allowed to be sick and he's not to blame for anything. i would personally fight anyone who dared say anything bad about him because no one fuck's with tumblr's most beautiful most precious babygirlboy. no one!!!!!

having said that, big changes in the setlist - especially a live debut of hello you or other new songs - were highly unlikely and we all knew that. they probably wouldn't have had the chance to rehearse due to alex's sickness. and that's okay! sure everyone would love to see those songs finally make their grand debut. but that can wait, because alex's health is more important.

and let's face it. i don't think it's that big of a reach to say that even if alex hadn't been sick, the setlist wouldn't have changed that much anyway. there's songs that simply cannot be scrapped, songs to which they're particularly attached and songs to which average fans are also particularly attached. then there's songs that have been on rotation, and songs that have finally already made a comeback during the sheffield shows. taking away all that, the songs that have an actual real possibility of coming back aren't that many - as much as it hurts me to say it, they won't be playing secret door or piledriver waltz or batphone or whatever more niche song anytime soon. and we know that, no one *really* expects them to. because they have to gather to the general crowd, and as repetitive as their current setlist might be, it works. could house more new songs - they skipped big ideas? and songs such as mr schwartz and iaqwitia haven't made a comeback in such a long while... but still. it's bomb. it works, and it works fucking well.

however, there were other changes that could have been made to make glasto special - changes that wouldn't have been a risk to alex's health; small things that could have made a difference, even a tiny one. @mrschwartz said it perfectly in her tags (i hope it's okay to show these sbfksjf i just think you put it into words really well):

it WAS a win. the sole fact of headlining glasto, in and of itself, is a win. a big fucking one at that. and little changes could have been made to make it memorable - to make it stand out when compared to every other gig they played this tour. there definitely were highlights - not only with alex's antics but also lyrically, with the jet skis/iwby/star treatment moment, which was OUTSTANDING - but for the rest nothing really spoke GLASTONBURY. nothing else *really* stood out, and that's a shame.

(not even gonna touch on the miles thing because yeah we all know they probably wanted to do it but couldn't for some reason; it's pretty clear rn that him showing up in london was to make up for him not being able to be there yesterday; we all had our suspicions and they were right. still bummed tho because them playing glasto together is a tradition!)

but considered all that, it is what it is. no one is gonna go around unstanning them because of last night. if anything, when they pull this shit they just make us want to follow them even more, to see what they'll be up to in the next shows. what aces they have up their sleeves - because we know just as well as they know that they have many. they're just too comfortable in their routine to pull them all out, and hopefully sometime in the near future we'll get to see more of what they can really do.

again, it was an amazing show. my heart was beating so fast and i kept grinning like an idiot at the screen, just because they were there. just because they showed up in the first place, with their talent and beauty and power and insane energy. just because i love them so much i can't even begin to explain it.

and i was a bit disappointed, too. because we know how much potential they have. because if they can put up an amazing show like that using only a crumble of that potential, we can only imagine how insanely spectacular of a performance they could deliver if they used even a little bit more of it.

but they refuse to, and that's what can be upsetting. but it doesn't take away the love we have for them. the two things can coexist, and they don't take away from each other. if anything, i woke up this morning with even more love for them than i did yesterday, exactly because they frustrate me with how legendary they are, and how bad i want them to show that to the whole world.

i love them, i'm disappointed, and that's not gonna stop me from loving them even more.

[thesebitchesrgay]

1 and 10 for the salty ask game?

im gonna do supergirl and LOK for this one bc they're my current brainrot

What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?

supergirl: pls dont come at me for this but i cannot see agent reign, i get the appeal, ive read fics with agentreign in them and they're super cute, but ive never personally been invested in them.

also, while i definitely think kara's had a crush on cat, i like them too much as a mentor/mentee to ever go near a supercat fic. (but i understand the appeal of both those ships)

legend of korra: mako x wu, i dont rly ship them but i think their dynamic is FUCKING hilarious. also ik its technically a:tla and not lok but i dont ship zukka, i love sukka too much, but i do prefer zukka over zutara. (fight me)

10. Most disliked arc? Why?

supergirl: guardiancorp. it felt so needless. i can come up with ten better ways they could've done the harun-el storyline without them getting into a relationship. i shipped pretty much anything the writers threw at us but i could NOT get behind lena x james at all. actually here's one i just thought of: james reveals he's guardian, lena starts helping him be a vigilante = lena and james form a bond and she uses the harun-el to save him bc shes a hero - OH imagine lena being overwatch!

actually, all of season 4 makes my blood boil - not bc i think it was a bad season, it was just too good at its job and i hated it for making me wanna rip my hair out every second. xenophobes taking over? lex luthor manipulating linda? alex loses her memories? the episode right after? the supercorp angst? oh my god the REVEAL?

10/10 would recommend, but you couldn't pay me to rewatch it.

legend of korra: no notes, just make more of it.

wait no if theres one thing i could change - its not the show its in the comics - kuvira's "redemption" arc. ma'am. you were literally a dictator and you tortured people. go on a year long trip to restore your honor. actually, scratch that, go on a meaningful road trip with each member of the beifong family (the apology tour). i do believe you can change but the rote arc felt too rushed - maybe end on a more open note instead of saying "thats it, she's redeemed!"

this one is also more a:tla: please PLEASE give my girl azula a redemption arc

thanks for the ask!

[destinyc1020]

Confession Sunday: This is going to be very unpopular, but after SM4, I don't want Tom and Z to work with each other as love interests. Or again, if that means they can maintain privacy in their relationship. I hope Z has a smaller role in that film, and it's more on Tom's Peter and Black Cat, maybe. The backlash both of them got for TCR and Challengers because they became public is very deranged. They should be able to play characters with love interest without fear of public backlash because they are adults and professionals. Im kinda scared with Romeo and Juliet. I hope ppl are sensible and dont embarrass Tom cause it's not just him on stage. Francesca and the rest of the cast deserve their moment.

They are not the first couple to act but they the first famous couple of the younger generation that ppl are too invested in and honestly don't have the best energy towards their union depaite them being complete starbgers to us. I'm aware this is hypocritical as I am a fan of both and I'm on tumblr but I've been aware of both sides of the fandom on these blogs, solo fans of each other and I understand the frustration to want you fav to be independent of their relationship because it limits their artistry. They are actors first!!!!

Unpopular opinion, and I'm gonna get tomatoes, but looking back, SM NWH presstour was a blessing and a curse. It was a blessing for Tomdaya fans, but its a curse cause now when they do it again, the soundbites are gonna feel curated and tired. I started to see a problem when Tom kept mentioning it when he was promoting TCR because, let's be honest, he was ashamed of the results of the show. He used it as armour, and that's not fair case it was him that chose to do that show with poor execution. Using his family as pr is no better than Dom no shade. Even when Challengers was promoted and Tom was mentioned, it was cute as Tomdaya fans, but objectively, it's unheard of unless it's a podcast.

David Bowie and Iman are the best counterparts because they both were successful in their lane but were together. Iman was asked about David, but I was brief because she already had a business and foundation stand from. Both Tom and Z are in the middle of building that foundation.

I read on a blog how Riley from that Daisy amazon show filmed an intimate scene with her actor husband, and she said it was awkward because they were acting, and when they are together, it's real. I want them to have a life that we, as fans, don't know because overexposure is always bad in hindsight. Look at Jelenas. They can't get over the accessibility they had to that couple, and that's just sad.

I enjoyed the intimate scenes in Challengers and TCR because I was invested in the characters they were playing because they had respectful costars who i had little information about them other than acting, and it was great acting. I think it's even why I couldn't buy Paul and Chani in Dune 2 because I know Timothee and Zendaya are very good friends. Almost like siblings, like Timothee called her a sis!!!😭😭😭

I never have this issue when he's Taylor, Florence, or Saoirse because i know them through acting only, and I'm not invested in their lives cause its private as fck.

What are your thoughts???

Wow Anon.... you said a LOT with this ask/confession lol.

Thank you for your input and confession Anon.

Personally? I don't think there's anything wrong with Tom and Z working together even though they're in a relationship together. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Do you know how many actors have worked together in Hollywood and were in relationships with each other? Paul Newman and his wife Joanne Woodward, Elizabeth Taylor and her husband Richard Burton, JLo and Ben Affleck, Emily Blunt & John Krasinski, etc. Shoot, even Baz Luhrmann and his wife work together on films lol 😅 It's not exactly unheard of in Hollywood. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Re: The NWH press tour....

Hmm... I'm not sure why this is a concern exactly. 🤔 But I also don't feel like how TZ were during the press tour together was a bad thing either? 🤷🏾‍♀️ Even if they were to break up tomorrow, their press tour videos are endearing, sweet, and just a testament to a good friendship and casting for their Spiderman film imo.

While us shippers and Tomdaya fans may love the press tour for other reasons lol, I don't think that the general public has an issue with the press tours with TZ being together and in love etc. I think most think it's cute? 😅

Granted, I will say that if you do feel like you're having a very hard time separating an actor's character from their real-life persona, and it's hard for you to see them disappear in certain roles, then maybe it might a sign that you're following a celebrity a little too closely, and it may be a good idea to perhaps lessen the amount of time you spend tracking and following that celebrity/actor. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Re: Fans...

I def think that SOME fans get a little too invested with the lives of their faves, to the point where it can become a bit parasocial, but like I mentioned earlier, you can always take a bit of a break, and try not to be so obsessive.

Re: Public Backlash

While I def understand the concern regarding the gp and any backlash on TZ and their projects, the truth of the matter is, a lot of actors get bad reviews on their projects also, but it's not an automatic death. Many Actors have recovered from bad projects and have gone on to do wonderful films that had critical acclaim. ☺️

[whatiwillsay]

Tea Time Anon

note: in this post i refer to tumblr user Spade-Riddles as "ttb" the whole time (her suspected old blog's nickname was ttb). wherever you see me say "ttb" i mean tumblr user Spade-Riddles.

alright, guys, i got the ok from the original tea time anon who found me and told me about how they tricked ttb into thinking they were an insider.

i'm sharing now because the damage she's done to queer people in this community is insurmountable and the idea that little baby kaylors are thinking about missing out on the show of a lifetime because they want to skip eras tour because they're sad about karlie having another baby with josh is just breaking my heart. ttb has been leading people to believe that kaylor is still together and saying her "insiders" have proved it to her and every time karlie does anything with josh all those people get upset. it's not fair for this woman to mislead people and ruin their taylor/gaylor experience by getting their hopes up that karlie and taylor are just around the corner from coming out when obviously that couldn't be further from the truth. i mean it's insanely obvious to me that karlie and taylor have long gone their separate ways and are no longer involved at all but i digress.

i held back on sharing this for a while because while ttb is kind of humorous to watch she IS dangerous and i just didn't want the heat from her. her (or her followers) have harassed, stalked, and outed multiple gaylors in retaliation for speaking out against her:

but i think it's time i get over that. i don't think they'll find my identity and even if they do whatever i'll be alright.

so long story short- someone reached out to me to tell me they were tea time anon and that they did it to see if they could get ttb to believe them as an insider source. i got the code they used to verify themselves to her and to prove to myself they weren't pulling my leg sent in a message about the coney island bridge because cara's birthday was coming up and the bridge says "happy birthday". i capitalized ISLA in the word because cara likes that name. it was a bit of a laugh but mostly i just had to send something to prove they weren't just pretending to be tea time anon.

here's some of our convo (make note of the dates):

so those are all from april 6th and as you can see here's the anon i sent in posing as tea time anon that was posted on april 7th:

and here's a message from the next day- tea time's reaction to it and me mentioning why i capitalized isla:

and at some point, one of us (idk who) went back and told them yes the baby is named isla:

so yeah... if you're reading this and you've ever thought ttb had legitimate info from her myriad of insiders from Spade to Tea Time Anon to that flag person who's sending in stuff these days now you know... she just doesn't. it's people making stuff up or fanfic-ing or trolling.

let me just say i do think all of this is childish and i don't encourage this kind of thing but sometimes childish stuff is gonna go down in fandom spaces. it's just the name of the game. i've had my childish moments and i'm not exactly proud of that, but ttb misleads and harms so many innocent people, especially so many innocent young queer people it's time someone shined the light on just how misinformed she is and provided hard proof that yes coincidences happen. just because a fake insider mentions "isla" and taylor wore isla boots or an isla ring 3 years before that doesn't mean they are legit.

i encourage everyone reading this to try and learn how to enjoy gaylor without plummeting into complete conspiracy theories. there are a lot of healthier and more realistic ways to appreciate taylor's music from a queer perspective than what they get up to over on spade-riddles.

and another reminder that ttb is dangerous. she (or her minions) harasses and outs people who disagree with her. if you're a fan of hers, please be careful. never share your identity or personal details about your life with her or her henchmen.

AND FOR GOD'S SAKE IF YOU HAVE ERAS TOUR TICKETS GO AND ENJOY IT DO NOT SKIP THE SHOW OF A LIFETIME JUST BECAUSE KARLIE KLOSS IS OUT HERE LIVING HER BEST LIFE! YOU WILL FOREVER REGRET NOT GOING.